Literally anything can be bought on the internet these days and AliExpress is an online marketplace that proves it. I’ve been browsing through endless pages on AliExpress to find 20 of the weirdest things you can buy. Of course what i find weird you may not but im pretty sure you’ll agree all items in my list of 20 are odd in some way. Fan of the zombie genre? Once you have finished reading this article why not visit my zombie apocalypse survival kit built using items entirely from Aliexpress.
A few of the items are NSFW but are low end and nothing graphic in any way. I did wonder if it would cheapen my article but they are too weird to leave out.
20. Black Spider Ear Rings
Suffer with arachnophobia? Imagine yourself in the queue at the store. While waiting to be served you look up away from your mobile phone and see what looks like a giant spider on the face of the person in-front, you freak out and while dashing out of the door you slip and crack your head on floor sending you unconscious. While unconscious a homeless man steals your belongings leaving you helpless and broke……..do you see where im going with this? These spider ear rings just cause too much trouble and should be banned.
If you like them check them out at this link spider earrings
19. Chest Hair Hooded T-Shirt
No idea why anyone would want to wear this weird looking T-shirt let alone pay for it. But at least 6 people are wearing it judging by how many orders the seller has. If you don’t want an entire ugly upper body you could go for this belly bum bag instead.
If you wanna look like a moron click this: Hairy T-Shirt
18. Giant Stuffed Chicken Wing
OK so you love chicken wings, and i mean you seriously love chicken wings. Your boyfriend/girlfriend knows this and on your birthday he/she brings you a giant stuffed chicken wing thinking you would be over the moon. Are you over the moon? NO…..NO your not and you immediately dump his/her ass. Seriously though, why would anyone on this crazy earth want one of those.
Here is a link anyway to this stupid chicken soft toy
17. Anti Stress Fidget Peas
While fidget gadgets are the norm these days you don’t often see this type, the squishy pea fidget toy. To be fair the wife says she’d love one of these (she’s a pea shelling addict) but nevertheless i still feel it deserves weird status. If you want something a little naughty or a fun gift for your partner get one of these slow decompression stress penises instead.
Check out many of the other stress relievers: Stress Toys
16. Fake Poo Prank
These are nothing new i know but i love these
weird looking turds . Mainly because without fail the mother in-law falls for it every time. I once sent one of these boxed and gift wrapped to my brother on his birthday as a prank. The prank backfired because a few months later on my birthday he sent me the same thing back……..except it was real poo. I threw it in the bin obviously and still to this day i don’t know if it was his or the dogs.
Check out the other prank turds here: Poo Pranks
15. Squishy Vomiting Egg Yolk
Quickly back to things that de-stress people. A vomiting yolk. A squishy egg yolk i can understand, people like to squish things when they are stressed, but a squishy egg that throws up some sticky gloop? I can only imagine that stressing me out even more.
Get yours here: Vomitive Egg Yolks
14. LED Luminous Eyelashes
I wasn’t sure if these should make my list because im unsure if anyone other than me would find these LED eyelashes as weird as i do. If you don’t then please don’t fret there are way weirder things further down the list. They make my weird list because i find it odd that we now stick LED lights to our faces and not just around the edges of our flat screen TV’s.
Get these and other types here Luminous Lashes
13. Smart Motion Sensor Toilet Seat Night Light
This battery powered little gadget allows you to see what your poop looks like under blue light, or red light, or purple light, 8 different colours to be exact. Im of the opinion that things we attach to the toilet rim this way are unhygienic, especially so if your little children like to spray pee all over the rim like mine do. If you didn’t have to use your hands to operate the colour changing button it wouldn’t be so bad.
If you want one click this link.
12. Pimple Popping Popper
I will never understand those people who get a kick out of squeezing pimples. My mother is one of those people and she makes me feel ill with this obsession of hers. More and more im seeing these pop up in stores (excuse the pun) in all kinds of forms. Its an odd toy, and a weird habit.
If you want one click this Pimple Popping Popper
11. Wooden Thumb Piano
This weird looking little thing is actually pretty smart and chances are you have seen one being played on the internet somewhere, if you haven’t seen one being played check out the video below. Check out how many of these Thumb pianos have sold with an average rating of 4.9 out 5. Impressive.
Check out all the different types: Thumb Piano Kalimba
10. Imitation Grass Flip Flops
OK so we are into the top 10. This is where it starts to get really weird. At 10 we have these grass flip flops. I don’t know about you but i would get some awkward stares where i live if i wore those around town. Apparently they give you that chilled out barefoot feeling of walking on real grass wherever you go. Odd if you ask me but i will admit a lot of people seem to be wearing them judging by reviews on the net.
9. Suture Training Kit
Had no idea these existed until now. The fact they are available to the general public is a bit odd too. I mean would you let your friend stitch your child’s leg wound knowing her sole experience was from using one of these Suture training kits? No me neither. Having said that its probably a good idea to get one of these in case a zombie apocalypse presents itself.
Think you’ll need one of these?: Stitch your mates kit
8. Inflatable Travel Pillow
Probably more stupid than weird but here it is, the inflatable travel pillow for people who don’t care what they look like. I mean look at her in the image, she looks silly and frankly doesn’t look too comfortable sat in that forward position. We take enough crap with us on planes as it is, we don’t need anymore. The 88 people who placed an order with this particular seller obviously don’t think they way i do. Want a similar item that makes you look less stupid? Click this link
If you’d like one of these: Stupid travel pillow
7. Life-size Replica Skull
Looks like my mother in law this one. Not much more needs to be said about this. They are just weird and that’s it. And you are weird if you own one. And your friends are weird if they say it looks cool on your desk or wherever you keep the ugly thing.
Are you weird? Get yours: Life size skull
6. Donald Trump Toilet Brush
Come on own up……how many of you have one of these weird trump toilet brushes? or bog brushes as they are known in northern England. While its one of the oddest things i have seen i’ll admit i do find it funny. In Fact i find anything to do with Donald Trump funny, love him or hate him you gotta admit he is interesting. Want his face on toilet roll too? Click this: Donald Trump Loo Roll
Want one? Donald Trump Bog Brush
5. Silicone Rubber Lip Trainer
Just wear this for 3 minutes per day for a healthy and simple way to not only lift your facial skin but to also get rid of eye wrinkles and sagging skin around your cheeks. It’s main purpose is to slim your face apparently and the other stuff is a bonus. The picture says it all really. You could look worse though, check this horrendous face lift belt out.
Want to look a fool? Lip Trainer
4. Scrotum Pendant ?
(NSFW) Im not going to pretend to know what this does nor am i going to google it because im afraid of what i might see. I am an open minded person but hairy testicles isn’t an image i want to subject my eyes to. OK so my guess is this gadget helps you stretch out your……. erm balls? Like……it makes them hang lower or something? Apparently they come in different sizes to and this particular seller has sold 48 and has many happy reviews so they must do what they are meant to do. If you know exactly how these work then feel free to comment below.
Want your scrotum stretched? Scrotum stretcher
3. Bum Hole Cleaner
(NSFW) One of the more weird things i have come across is this erm…..bum hole washer thingy. Im trying to keep this article clean and by doing so i need to avoid saying things like anus and vagina. Anyway i think this attaches to your shower hose enabling you to easily flush out your erm….bum. I don’t know why they used what is supposed to be a sexy looking model because i don’t feel there is anything sexy about hosing out your rectum.
Flush that butt: Bum Flusher
2. love Doll
(NSFW) This is Brad say hello. The seller didn’t name him Brad, i did on account that she looks like a bloke. Seriously what kind of weirdo wants one of these odd looking love dolls. I mean i can almost understand why some people would want/need one but some of them look hideous like this one. I will admit though that some of them are weirdly real, like scary real. Some look a little young too which is weird in itself. If you don’t like Brad you could try an elf instead.
Would you like a relationship with Brad?
1. Silicon Baby Doll
I deliberated over what would be number 1 for a while. And I decided on this freaky looking thing in the end. I honestly can’t look at it for too long otherwise my mind starts to think its being possessed. Its the most scary thing i have ever seen and is definitely worthy of number 1 spot. If i didn’t know better i would guess it was the love child of Donald Trump and Susan Boyle. Believe it or not people have bought this female doll.
Would you like to adopt Trusan
Thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed it. If you want you can subscribe to my Bought From Aliexpress YouTube channel to be notified of a future giveaway i’ll be doing where i will give away a drone.
Please leave a comment below let me know what your thinking.