Like many people i am a fan of The Walking Dead and while i was watching an episode yesterday it got me wondering how i would react in a similar situation, which in turn led me to a question and an idea for an article…… This next bit is gonna sound silly but stick with me here.
OK so i wake up one morning (around 8am) and my family is nowhere to be seen or heard. I look out of the bedroom window i see zombies everywhere and i realize im in serious trouble. But luckily for me there is a huge Aliexpress Storage facility just a few streets way from me. (I know)
I drive to the facility in my 1966 Shelby 427 Cobra, enter the building and lock the doors. Its a Sunday and no one is working that day, the security guard is locked in the toilet after turning into a zombie while having a poo (sorry). I have loads of fun from this point playing with all the gadgets and toys. But eventually i realize i have to go out and look for survivors. To do this i would need a truck and a zombie survival kit to help me on my way……so……
Table of Contents:
- Zombie Survival Clothes
- Zombie Survival Weapons
- Zombie Survival Tools
- Zombie Survival First Aid
- Zombie Survival Gear
- Zombie Survival Camping
- Womans Survival Kit
- Zombie Survival Companionship
Could i gear myself up with a comprehensive zombie survival kit from Aliexpress?
Well we are going to find out. Im about to share with you a fully comprehensive list of items that will make up my Zombie apocalypse survival kit and all from Aliexpress – with maybe one or two exceptions. I want to mention that these items can be purchased anywhere, not just Aliexpress.
I am not going to list prices and product info, if you are curious i will put a link to each item underneath.
Zombie Survival Clothes
OK so clothes are obvious, but not just any clothes, we need tough clothes. We need only one set therefore they must be able to handle months of abuse and endure all kinds of nastiness. They will need plenty of pockets too. And even though no one else is alive to impress we want to look cool and tough right? Whether you are a Man or Woman.
I wear a baseball cap often so this is a must for me. We should probably go camo with this since the rest of our gear will be camo.
Link: Zombie survival cap
Polarized Sun Glasses
Polarized sun glasses are a must, they prevent glare from water, windows and other stuff. Nothing special needed here just some plain light weight black ones will suffice.
Link: Polarized Sun Glasses
Took me a while to settle on this one, there are so many on Aliexpress. I have gone for a darker/woody style camo since i think it best suits where i live. Be better with more pockets but the backpack will help us with that. We don’t want the trousers (not enough pockets) just the jacket.
Link: Camo Jacket Aliexpress
Gone for these trousers since they are similar in style to the jacket which is important. They have 6 pockets also which is super helpful.
Link: Camouflage Trousers
A simple T shirt will do, preferably with the same camo as the jacket. Thermal would be good for the cold nights but that wouldn’t be an issue if we were house hopping on our travels.
Again nothing special needed here. We just need gloves with good grip and ones that allow you to pop your fingers out to do tasks such as lighting matches and that kind of thing.
Link: Camouflage Gloves
I would probably have 2 pairs of boots and tie a pair to my back pack. Obviously we want decent boots for walking in that are waterproof and durable. We would be travelling miles through wooded areas to reach other towns and cities so they need to last. Obviously you will need warm socks from Aliexpress to go with these boots.
Last but not least in our clothing segment is the tactical vest. These things are great for holding all manor of things and as you can see from the picture this one is covered with pockets allowing you to keep all kinds of items on your person. Slight issue with it being a totally different color to the rest of our camo gear but what the hell its a cool vest.
Link: Tactical Vest
Zombie Survival Weapons
Weapons will be an integral part of my zombie survival kit, especially so if i see my mother in-law while im out looking for life. Know what i mean? Since noise attracts hoards of zombies i will need an assortment of silent weapons both for long range and short range kills. That’s where knives and crossbows come in. Perfect tools for silently taking out zombies (and the mother in-law). There are no guns in this list since i can’t find any on Aliexpress. But that’s OK we will steal them from zombiefied armed cops.
Massive fan of crossbows, they are lightweight, quiet, and lethal in capable hands. Sadly i couldn’t find a crossbow on Aliexpress so the next best thing will have to do.
Archery Compound Bow
This seems to be the ideal second choice bow. 35-70lbs Draw weight is more than enough to kill a zombie and any decent sized animal. I may have misunderstood but in the sellers listing it seems to suggest you can add a fishing reel onto the bow. I assume this is to help you locate small kills afterwards which is helpful i suppose.
Link: Zombie Killing bow
Im going for the lightweight tomahawk axe over a machete from Aliexpress for 2 reasons. 1. I prefer them, and 2. There are no machete’s on Aliexpress. If you search machete on Aliexpress a bunch of machete looking products are listed but on closer inspection they are a fraction of the size they should be.
Link: Lightweight Tomahawk Axe
Never knew this type of catapult existed until now. And boy they do look fun. So much so im going to buy one of these real soon and show you guys how it works out on my Youtube Channel Subscribe if you wanna see that.
You can fire fish hooks attached to fishing line which would be super handy for catching our food from the lake or wherever. You can fire BB’s which i suppose would be useful for creating a distraction. And then there’s the ability to fire an actual arrow which is pretty cool but im not sure i would trust the arrow to fly true and hit my target.
Folding Hunting Knife
Are true hunting knives usually foldable? I have no idea but this is my choice of hunting knife from Aliexpress. Its a no nonsense knife which is small enough to fit a pocket (folded) but big enough to do its job.
Link: Foldable Knife
Zombie Survival Tools
There are a million tools we could take with us and use but this is zombie survival and we need to travel as light as we can. Having said that i fear when im done this kit will be far from light. OK there are obvious tools we will need and im listing them here:
Torches are a must for any kind of tool kit let alone a survival kit. Were gonna need a powerful lightweight torch with a decent battery. I’ll get 2, a mini one and a larger sized torch.
Mini LED Flashlight
I actually bought one of these a while ago and i have used it quite a bit. The battery in it has been amazing since i have never needed to replace it yet.
Link: Mini Flashlight
Baseball Bat LED Flashlight
I literally only just came across this and i think its a great idea. Shine the light in the zombies eyes to stun it then bash its head in. Perfect. These come in various sizes. I’ll go for the mid sized bat.
Link: Baseball Bat Flashlight
Lock picking kit
A lock picking kit will come in super handy for getting into locked gun store cabinets and other buildings. I ordered one of these kits which came last week and did a giveaway with it. Was kind gutted i did because i really enjoyed playing around with it and picking locks.
See my lock picking video below.
Link: Lock Picking Kit
Self explanatory this. We can use them for a multitude of tasks like chopping wood for a fire.
Multi Function Watch
This watch i have chosen is the perfect survival watch in my opinion (For the money). It has multiple features including a compass, barometer, altimeter, and thermometer. It is of course waterproof and is digital. Aside from those features a watch comes in handy for timing your journey and working out distance based on an approximate speed you traveled at.
Link Multi Feature Watch
This needs no explanation. It is what it is – Useful
Strong carabiner’s and Rope
Good quality carabiners and tough durable rope is essential. Good for hanging things from our backpacks and the rope can be used for a multitude of things.
Zombie Survival First Aid
It’s obvious to say first aid is important but it really is. No one ever survives a zombie apocalypse without at least one band aid being used on their person. However, if you get bitten by a zombie that would be it – curtains as they say.
Medical care – First Aid
Nice big kit this one. Seems to have everything we need for basic first aid such as, bandages, band aids (plasters), scissors, safety pins, and plenty other bits.
OK so Aliexpress has no drugs of any kind, not even pain killers. I would have to find a drug store (pharmacy) on my travels. Or go for natural pain killers If i can find them.
Zombie Survival Gear
There are some general zombie survival items we’ll need and i will list them here.
Binoculars are needed for obvious reasons, they allow you to see the enemy (mother in-law) coming from a distance which in turn helps you make decisions on the best way to make an escape. These are good enough for that job, plus they are light weight and small-ish.
Chemical Gas Mask
In the TV show Walking dead you have to get bit by a zombie to become a zombie so they don’t need gas masks. But in a real life situation you’d want a chemical gas mask from Aliexpress just in case the virus was air born. This one looks to be very capable.
Link: Gas Mask
We are going to need these if we want to find other people and for when we do find other people. I would take a bunch of these walkie talkies so that i can hand them to any potential survivors for future use. These walkie talkies below have thousands of sales and a ton of feedback so its a natural choice.
Link: Walkie Talkies
Zombie Survival Camping Gear
Fire Starting Kit
The more equipment you have in this fire starting kit the better. These items are perfect for quickly starting a fire, which important if we want to keep warm and make a hot drink. Some of these items require Kerosene which i don’t believe cant be found on Aliexpress so that would need sourced elsewhere.
A good quality backpack is an absolute must. I would take 2, a large one and a smaller one.
The 70L backpack would be left in the car most of the time filled with items i don’t need on my person all the time.
Link 70L Backpack
This 35L Backpack i would have on my person most of the time with items i use most often.
Link: 35L Backpack
We would only need a tent if we wasn’t house hopping. Personally i don’t think i’d ever use one. I mean if you are snoring while asleep your going to attract hoards of zombies without knowing it. My wife says i snore which i disputed until she showed me video evidence. Having said all that i will add a tent to my list.
Link: Ultralight Tent
Of course if you have a tent you would need a sleeping bag to use inside it. Nothing special needed here. Just something light weight.
Since Aliexpress don’t sell gas canisters or things like that i will go for a stove that allows the burning of coal and wood. I like the look of this one so its on the list.
Link: Outdoor Camping Grill
General Cooking Equipment
We are going to need some basic equipment for cooking with and some basic tools for eating with along with drinking vessels.
Fire Maple Pan set with Kettle
Link: Fire Maple Pans
Portable Cutlery Set
There are no forks or knives in this kit but i don’t mind that. I can use my hunting knife for anything that requires slicing.
Link: Outdoor Portable Cutlery
BPA Free Tritan Water Bottle
I would get a few of these bottles and hang them om my backpacks with the carabiner’s i got.
Zombie Survival Food
OK food is a little tricky to get from Aliexpress but i did manage to find some stuff i could nibble on. For any real food i would need to hunt down animals which is fine by me.
Womens Zombie Survival Kit
Obviously all of the items above are not exclusively for male use. But i realize that some of the items are not very feminine plus there are items that only women need so i have made a section here just for women’s zombie survival.
For some women this isn’t an issue. But for others it’s an absolute must to have a bag of make up at hand. My wife is beautiful but she would never leave the house without make up on her face (even if everyone was dead). Personally i think it’s a mental health issue but i ain’t going into that here. (Disclaimer: I know nothing about make up so i chose items that had the best reviews).
OK i chose this one because they have sold a lot and reviews are heavily positive. So i think this is used for uneven skin tone?
Concealer i believe is used for darkness around or under the eyes. This one is popular on Aliexpress so its on the list.
My wife tells me that if she could only wear one item of make up and nothing else she would choose mascara. So obviously this makes the list of important make up items.
Again this is another item i chose based on reviews. Average score of 4.8/5 from 70 votes is pretty good.
Eye Brow Pencil
Another item my wife insists is a must is eye brow make up. I went with this one because it has thousands of reviews.
We could add eye shadow but im going to stick with the 5 items in my list that my wife can’t live without.
My wife chose this one because she likes the look and its more feminine than the clothing above.
She also chose these cargo joggers. Originally she went with something else but i insisted they had pockets so she went with these.
High heels are a no no for very obvious reasons so we went with these motorcycle ankle boots.
There are other things a woman is likely to carry with her such as sanitary items and things for grooming, my wife assures me women would want to look after themselves even through an apocalypse so things like perfume and hair brushes should be added to our survival kit. Im not going to list these things but if you want a look: – woman’s section on Aliexpress
Zombie Survival Companion
Last but definitely not least is companionship. If we never find other survivors we are going to struggle mentally and physically. By nature we as humans need to socialise and interact with others to stay healthy. If we can’t do that then the next best thing would be erm………love dolls. Sounds nuts i know but would you rather talk to soccer balls like Phil Miller did in Last man on Earth? No, me neither the guy was a nut case. (Great TV show, you should check it out.)
Love Dolls From Aliexpress
Female Love Doll
Yep your seeing and reading this correctly, my list of crucial zombie survival items includes a love doll. It’s not as crazy as you might think, i mean if there is no one else around why not fall in love with a pretty imitation of a real woman? or man, i don’t judge.
Link: Nicola The Love Doll
I like to call this one Nicola. She’s pretty right? Now i could carry her ass everywhere with me or i could find her a nice place to stay and visit her on lonely nights or when i fancy a nice……..chat.
Male Love Doll
Of course it would be wrong of me to not include a male love doll in my list so here he is. I’ll call him Dave.
Link Delectable Dave
Choice is really limited on the male love dolls on Aliexpress probably because there are more male weirdos that buy female dolls than there are females that buy male dolls so i apologize if you feel i could have done better.
Well that concludes my list of zombie survival items from Aliexpress. It’s taken me days to write this so i hope its been a good read for you.
If you feel there is something that should be added then please do comment below and mention it. This list will evolve over time no doubt.